Monday, December 22, 2008

Tweets for the apocalypse

Recession menus: it's better when you read it in reverse order. So to cap it: radiation and cockroaches by the light of the sun going nova

2 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: eat your leg

14 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: lightly soiled air, rebreathed through a faulty primus stove, out in the winter darkness of the fens

15 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: the neighbours cat, lightly fried in engine oil, lit from within by depleted uranium. To follow, rat bums in brine

18 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: a mess of vegetables scavenged from the gutter, boiled in water and served in a plastic bowl. To follow, mould and biscuits

21 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: pea up a stick

25 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: the chef's special, and so are you

27 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: Pig parts forced through a thin mesh, shaped into an oblong and packed in a can that comes with a key.

28 minutes ago from web

Recession menus: a tower of haricot beans in MSG and tomato jus, piled on a bed of lightly grilled bread

30 minutes ago from web

Indicators of recession: Jamie Oliver's latest recipe features potato in a jus of warmed marmite on a chipped plate

34 minutes ago from web

(it all makes sense if you see the plan). Keep saying that to yourself as you walk down the road with abandoned shops each side, it helps

about 1 hour ago from web

like chocolate unicorns, tasty until you try to eat the spiky bit on the forehead

about 1 hour ago from web

Xmas ghost story: that's about this particular hero. Pissed off with the state of things, but about to be reacquainted with reasons to be

about 1 hour ago from web

@DangerAmy Xmas ghost story! All fiction.

about 1 hour ago from web

It would be cooler if my particular black dog wasn't a yappy terrier.

about 1 hour ago from web

Really, I need to find an emergency psychiatrist. Perhaps there's one available in the depths of anomie (which is near Swindon)

about 1 hour ago from web

Out of the ashes of the desiccated earth came little shoots of hope, bursting through the thick layers of death. Lawnmowers now on offer.

about 1 hour ago from web

Apocalypse fire sale: souls half price.

about 1 hour ago from web

Out of the deeps came the dull glass brains with grasping tentacles to pull down the last edifices of civilisation. Holiday sale, bargains!

about 1 hour ago from web

And then every star exploded, and the planets burned, and their acid ashes came down and burned everything. So, 50% off at Walmart

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