Tuesday, April 08, 2008

melancholera

Which is what I might catch if I stay any longer in this damp ditch.

It's a disease of the heart. The shitty feeling I get when things become unrequited. Distressing and debilitating illness the symptoms of which include breakage and ache, which sounds like breakfast, as in "I'll have a breakage and ache sandwich with ketchup and bastard".

A good description of the way I am feeling, once (maybe twice). Highs and lows of anger and weak boredom - being pissed off with being pissed off, the kind of recursion that is doubly (triply, quadruply, quintuply, and so on) exasperating.

I don't know though - it hasn't destroyed me, so it must make me stronger, or more bitter, rather like the way I like my coffee. So now I'm a cup of coffee. Thanks.

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