Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I've got to say, David Cameron is a fat-faced public schoolboy twat

And, in other deeply insightful political commentary, I reveal Boris Johnson, mayoral hopeful for the capital of the world (that's London) is a blonde bumbling shitflap.

In incisive detail I will expose the top tier of the Tory opposition to be a bunch of wankers.

With graphs and evidence-based, but ultimately anecdotal, statistics, I will show that 99% of Tory policy is mainly a lot of fucking drivel. The 1% left over is the dribbling meanderings of a crack-addled fuckwad. This statistic is, of course, reversed by New Labour.

Incontrovertible things I just thought of will form the firm foundation of my argument: "Tories - selfish, bad-breathed cock nozzles, who are also ugly, fact or fiction? Undeniably FACT! Fuckers that they are."

Vote Ken, Londoners, otherwise we will have a hunch-shouldered, fat nazi incompetent snot monkey as mayor. Do you really want that racist, can't-reach-round-his-fat-back-to-wipe-his-own-bumhole, idiot buffoon to represent the most vibrant, fantastic, really quite good, city that's, like, this capital we have?

I don't like London anyway, so perhaps it being led by a penis in a blonde wig is not so bad. Actually, no, he's a shit-filled poptart.

I mean look at this pink arse with eyes -


Wouldn't look out of place in an SS uniform, nor would his views.

Also, "Boris Johnson" translates as "Russian Cock".

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