Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Selling out

Someone on the phone today:

"Hey, disk, how's it going? It's Sam here. Sam from [xxxx].com."

"How did you get this number?"

"Good, good on that. Glad to see we're still singing from the same hymn sheet."

"What? Sorry, what's that?"

"Got a thing for you. A thing you can get behind."

"What?"

"We've noticed you're blogging stuff that fits our demographic: you know; fucked up people?1"

"Fucked up? What's fucked up?"

"No, no. Hey, and that's good, man, exactly the kind of fucked-upness that appeals to our audience. You have an ability..."

"What ability?"

"Hey, now, don't interrupt me, fucker. I'm about to offer you money. You need to hear me out."

"Sorry, I don't get this. This is... this is not... I'm putting the phone down."

"Yeah, yeah, you can do that. You don't want to do that until you've heard me out."

"..."

"It's about money."

"Sorry?"

"Good, good. See, this is the thing, we can leverage that."

"What? That there's money?"

"Yeah. That. Anyway, about the money thing: we can give you some; a percentage. You see?"

"Percentage of what?"

"Traffic. You know, traffic, more traffic equals more money. A percentage of that."

"I don't get traffic."

"Come again?"

"Fuck off."

"Hey, good skillz there. Liking the 'fuck off'. But, seriously, you want some money, right?"

I have upgraded his grammar back there 1

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