Thursday, January 24, 2008

Unconscionable desires

As we we walk (between the grey concrete dormitory tenements and gasometers lowering behind the slate roofs) I have this desire to hurt Fusel.

I don't know where it comes from, perhaps ignorance.

At last I turn to him (on a bridge over a derelict railway) and ask him what the fuck?

He smiles for a pause (which just makes me want to hit him through his face even more). Eventually he says, "there's nothing more, you just keep on keeping on. You just accept the series of disconnected events, one after the other, as they happen."

I am not satisfied with this, and ask him to explain.

"There is no explanation, no deeper levels in life. It's broken anyway. You just carry on doing what you do. And hope it's more than average."

I ask about Bêbe.

"She loved you, but you fell down for her too many times."

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